All the great things in life come in threes: Back to The Future. The Holy Trinity. Adidas. Leighton Baines.
Similarly, the best stories, such as ‘A Christmas Carol’, delve into the past, present and future – just like the BTTF trilogy did, too – and both prompted big changes in the lifestyles and life journeys of the protagonists they feature.
Meanwhile, I think I’ve started my mid-life crisis: I’m constantly reflecting, documenting and planning – and not just in the day job. I’m adapting my look, buying tuxedos and planning more tattoos… let’s go back to easier times: 1998, to be exact.
The Past
I’ve been living back in the nineties for a while. Fashions, music, memories of growing up… Next week we celebrate two decades since I ran on the pitch on the last day of the season to celebrate survival with ‘Big Rich’ in the rain.
In those twenty odd years since that era, I’ve also become close friends with two men who played integral parts in my own wedding and over Easter, got married themselves.
Two colleagues also tied the knot during the holidays, and we wish all the couples the very best of love and luck in the future.
All the events were special and memorable in their own rights, and a good time was had by all at each – but for very different reasons. On the first occasion, we ended up on the darker side of town until the wee small hours: in fact, the latest night out I’ve had since becoming a father.
Saw one of my favourite paintings… revisited old haunts.
Drinking shots with ex pupils, we had a great time, but it was a timely reminder that we’re not nineteen forever, and to pull ourselves together… though we did it all again a few days later in beautiful surroundings, and I learned a wonderful new word which summed up the groom – and me, at times –very nicely.
Loquaciousness is a virtue.
It makes my job more enjoyable, builds relationships (and profiles online) but can sometimes get people into spots of bother if an injustice has been done; indeed, only last month two witches debated the issue in the presence of winged monkeys but thankfully, like in the film, the good one was victorious. Similarly, speech – written this time, as first person narratives – had a life changing impact when I read two powerful (albeit very different) books which aren’t necessarily aimed at people like me but got me into the head of both a ten year old boy with Treacher-Collins syndrome, and a sixteen year old #BlackLivesMatter protestor who witnessed a terrible injustice.
Wonder, in particular, absorbed me completely and I love everything about it. Please, please read it and fall in love with it like I – and my classes – have.
The present
Back to the weddings, and it was nice to be around such love on the anniversary of our own special day, six years ago. We would celebrate with a very special meal and guest, the following week… but more of that later.
The first was in Shropshire and, on the way there, I saw my work from a previous life which suggested good omens for the happy couple.
Once there, we got ready and rushed to the idyllic venue where we mixed with fascinating people in a fairytale setting.
We felt very special and humbled to be part of such a wonderful event…
The boys were back… Not in town, but somewhere altogether more special and memorable.
After a beautiful ceremony in a most romantic landscape, the perfectly chosen reading, drink, dinner and dance it was back to normal life of trips to the beach, museums, attempting to rest…
First dips in the sea in the sunshine and singing in the rain.
We also spent time trying on our new trainers:
Watching Matilda:
Celebrating the genius and glory of Andres Iniesta Lujan:
Making trips to Tressell’s grave:
And just doing normal, everyday stuff, like measuring one’s wingspan at KSP.
The third and final wedding of the fortnight was the most unusual as it was Vegan and (thankfully) teetotal. I was the proudest (joint) best man that ever lived, though traditions went out of the window and for that, I was glad.
The day before, we arrived at this beautiful house on Tooting Common which has been the location for several photo, film and cookery book shoots and there were even ring tailed parakeets in the garden.
Just… wow.
The kitchen itself was immense, and a walk down the high street whetted the appetites although we stayed true to the theme of the weekend and loved the vegan diet.
It was so lovely to spend quality time with Jay, his lovely wife Helen, and various family and friends who were joining in the fun.
The ceremony itself was very special, at the King’s Road Chelsea Town Hall:
Then it was back to the house for the speeches…
I won’t relay the whole speech, but will offer the edited highlights to give you a flavour of what I spoke about. I nearly cried at two points, but overall am proud of my contribution.
I wore a Sgt Pepper’s t-shirt to remind everyone that ‘all you need is love’ and hinted at some of my memories with the groom: him lying on a car bonnet with trousers around his ankles after a house party, and unrelated near fights in Lancaster; sombreros in Durham; crazy wine bars in London; injured animals in Brisbane and him Upsetting a room full of people on my wedding day before two fantastic nights of the London art scene in 2012.
We’ve shared two memorable non stag dos, one to Barcelona for art galleries, beer and football and most recently a vegan meal at a posh restaurant which shows how we’ve grown up. I wrote recently about the trip – Coogan and Brydon, it’s all on youtube… Both occasions offered us chance to reflect on the monumental changes our lives have gone through since we first met on our first day of year 7, twenty seven years ago.
I say first day at school, actually, we had met before then; on a football pitch at the Reebok Soccer 6s competition when I scored past him for my wonderfully named team ‘Green Graffiti’ and then on Christ Church field when our primary schools met… That we became friends was incredible because Jay is so competitive that he normally falls out with people who beat him. I’ve seen him smash many a tennis racquet and gold club in anger; even the bananagram sets are not safe in his hands.
Foreign travels, the travails of love and work and modern life means that apart from a drunken meeting a couple of years ago, I’d not seen the family for about twenty years – and loved meeting the bride’s family, so welcoming and generous and having heard so much about them; further thanks and congratulations.
I thanked the bride for making my friends life so complete. The first time I met her we discussed Alan Partridge at length, and I was stunned by her niceness, so offered advice to the newlyweds on behalf of Poppy troll who declared the immortal words, “it’s not all cupcakes and rainbows but it’s real love”.
I decided I should read a poem and their meeting as vegans – plus the pragmatic, stripped down, homely and ‘real’ feel of the day- meant there was only one option.
Valentine
Not a red rose or a satin heart.
I give you an onion.
It is a moon wrapped in brown paper.
It promises light
like the careful undressing of love.
Here.
It will blind you with tears
like a lover.
It will make your reflection
a wobbling photo of grief.
I am trying to be truthful.
Not a cute card or a kissogram.
I give you an onion.
Its fierce kiss will stay on your lips,
possessive and faithful
as we are,
for as long as we are.
Take it.
Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding-ring,
if you like.
Lethal.
Its scent will cling to your fingers,
cling to your knife.
a strange choice, some of you will think: Onions? Well, I was trying to be truthful; I was being honest about love and its everyday practicalities. I wanted to purvey the message that you have to work at it and, peeling back the layers, works out ok in the end.
Anyway, being a best man for Jay, I felt truly honoured… but don’t ever want to do it again. Still, at the end of my speech I tried to toast the bridesmaids, but even in that amazing kitchen, there was not a toaster big enough (I borrowed that joke from a wedding I attended sixteen years ago) so instead focused on the happy couple.
The evening was so relaxed – no alcohol, vegan vibes and just unforgettable moments of love, once again – that I wanted to savour every moment.
Reflecting:
We wish all the happy couples the very best for their lives together, and the theme of love carried on to the next morning, when we paid homage to the lovely Tracey Emin’s new neon at St. Pancras:
I really do.
The Future
The other – slightly less big – memorable moment of the past month was my getting an email off the club inviting me to attend one of the Dan Meis events. I actually missed my son’s first haircut for this, so was determined to extricate as much information as possible from it, hence the detail. I walked away with optimism and feeling free from the despondency which has filled my brain and heart for what feels like an eon and I’ll just recount what the aides memoirs seem to mean.
The architect wants the ground to “grow out of the dock” like – as I understood, a creature form the black lagoon but in a good way – and the initial images of inspiration were just perfect : the clock, the church we were in, all suggested he ‘gets it’. He mentioned brick and wood, the clear panels on the sides of the main stand and the GS and the need to use what seem like outdated materials in the new gaff. He discussed solar panels, the differences between North South and East West stadium orientations, and gave a great reference point of the Baltimore baseball stadium that mixes the old and new quite superbly.
I spoke to a friend at one of the weddings I referenced earlier, who writes for the Guardian Sport section in New York, about this and he was vociferous in his claim that said stadium is the inspiration for so many others across the States.
Meis then talked about how it wouldn’t be totally symmetrical, given the dimensions of the dock, and how a huge fan zone could be ‘the front door to the stadium’ with the iconic hydraulic tower being used as a pub or the team store, or choosing the option of incorporating a store inside the stadium like the unforgettable Barca store I’ve spent many a Euro in. This could also include a museum, he said, again referencing Camp Nou as a shining example of what could be achieved.
Overhead designs and pitch view restaurants brought things nearer to life, as did the reassurance that Meis has worked on Madison Square Garden and the Staples Center, both iconic venues, and he justified well the reasons for the capacity of both as the arguments for our own suggested maximum to be what it will be.
We even had workbooks to make notes in; I suggested a statue of the Holy Trinity and two weeks later, plans were announced. It’s nice to be excited for the future, albeit with an air or trepidation, and another recent visit to the Old Lady brought with it some lovely feelings and moments when we were treated like royalty. Meeting celebrities again… the story of my life.
Yes, at last I was able to attend a game and thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to savour being so close to the action, and my heroes. Really appreciating the kind gestures which accompanied it, we made the most of the chance and will aim to do it as much as possible before we move closer to the Mersey.
May offers some potential for pain, excitement and yet more changes. Whatever happens, we need to remember that we are us and not them and that the good will out when there comes soft rains. In the words of Jarvis Cocker:
“Brothers, sisters, can’t you see?
The future’s owned by you and me
There won’t be fighting in the street
They think they’ve got us beat, but revenge is going to be so sweet, oh-oh-oh”
If all else fails, I’ve got Marine (even though we lost the cup final 0-4) and anyway, I’ve started sponsoring a local under 17s team…
